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Before making any decisions of significance, we should pray
and ask God for wisdom.
Jam 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he
should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding
fault, and it will be given to him.
Here are some questions we can then ask to determine if
possible activities, experiences, or relationships are wise and
pleasing to God:
1. Does the Bible say anything specifically about this?
Does it give related principles?
2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given
us everything we need for life and godliness through our
knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is
God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting
and training in righteousness,
2. How will this choice affect us -- will it risk our moral
or spiritual health in any way? Which will this feed -- our flesh
or our spirit? In what way will it benefit
us?
Galatians 6:8 The one who sows to please
his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction;
the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will
reap eternal life.
Prov 13:20 He who walks with the wise
grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.
Rom 13:14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus
Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the
lusts thereof. (KJV)
2 Timothy 2:22 Flee the evil desires of
youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along
with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
3. Can this become habit-forming, or give anything mastery
over us? ie: Drugs, sex, smoking, music, food, TV, video games,
popularity, etc
2 Pet 2:19 They promise them freedom,
while they themselves are slaves of depravity--for a man is a
slave to whatever has mastered him.
1 Cor 6:12 "Everything is
permissible for me"-- but not everything is beneficial.
"Everything is permissible for me"-- but I will not
be mastered by anything.
4. Does the choice draw attention to us? Is our motive to
glorify God? Will He receive glory because of it?
1 Timothy 2:9-10 I also want women to
dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided
hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, {10} but with
good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat
or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
5. Does the activity take excessive time or money to do?
Will the investment of time or money return to us important
benefit? How significantly does it contribute to our life goals?
1 Timothy 2:9-10 I also want women to
dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided
hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, {10} but with
good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
Mat 6:19 "Do not store up for
yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy,
and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for
yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not
destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.
John 6:27 Do not work for food that
spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the
Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed
his seal of approval."
1 Cor 7:29 What I mean, brothers, is
that the time is short. From now on those who have wives
should live as if they had none… those who use the
things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this
world in its present form is passing away.
Col 3:1 Since, then, you have been
raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where
Christ is seated at the right hand of God 2 Set your minds on
things above, not on earthly things.
6. Will the exercise of our liberty cause others to
perceive us as sinning? Will it cause us to lose the trust of
those we want to influence for Christ?
1 Corinthians 9:22-23 To the weak I
became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all
men so that by all possible means I might save some. {23} I
do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in
its blessings.
7. Is this activity more important than others? If our
"liberty" tempts them to violate their consciences, or
causes them to not listen to us, are we willing to sacrifice it
for them?
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of
selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider
others better than yourselves.
Romans 14:19-21 Let us therefore make
every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual
edification. {20} Do not destroy the work of God for the sake
of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat
anything that causes someone else to stumble. {21} It is
better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else
that will cause your brother to fall.
Romans 15:1-3 We who are strong ought to
bear with the failings of the weak and not to please
ourselves. {2} Each of us should please his neighbor for his
good, to build him up. {3} For even Christ did not please
himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who
insult you have fallen on me."
1 Corinthians 10:31-33 So whether you
eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of
God. {32} Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews,
Greeks or the church of God-- {33} even as I try to please
everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but
the good of many, so that they may be saved.
8. Does our choice clearly distinguish us as unconformed to
the world?
Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you,
brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as
living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your
spiritual act of worship. {2} Do not conform any longer to
the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing
of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what
God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
John 17:16 They are not of the world,
even as I am not of it.
James 4:4 You adulterous people, don't
you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God?
Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an
enemy of God.
9. Does our (biblically educated) conscience tell us God is
happy about our decision? Are we confident He is there with us,
encouraging us in this?
Ephesians 5:10 and find out what pleases
the Lord.
2 Corinthians 5:9 So we make it our goal
to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away
from it.
Colossians 1:10 And we pray this in
order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may
please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work,
growing in the knowledge of God,
1 Thessalonians 2:4 On the contrary, we
speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel.
We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our
hearts.
1 Thessalonians 4:1 Finally, brothers,
we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in
fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord
Jesus to do this more and more.
(Also consider Col 3:20; 1 Tim 2:3; 2 Tim
2:4; Heb 11:6)
10. How will this decision impact my family? Will my
absence keep me from my family responsibilities or create
difficulties in household routines?
Deuteronomy 5:16 "Honor your father
and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so
that you may live long and that it may go well with you in
the land the LORD your God is giving you.
1 Tim 5:8 If anyone does not provide for
his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he
has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Luke 11:11-13 "Which of you
fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake
instead? {12} Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a
scorpion? {13} If you then, though you are evil, know how to
give good gifts to your children, how much more will your
Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask
him!"
11. What guidance do our spiritual leaders (parents,
husband, elders, etc.) offer about this? If we trust God is using
them in our lives, does our action and attitude reflect that?
Deuteronomy 5:16 "Honor your father
and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so
that you may live long and that it may go well with you in
the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Proverbs 23:22 Listen to your father,
who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is
old.
Ephesians 6:1-2 Children, obey your
parents in the Lord, for this is right. {2} "Honor your
father and mother"--which is the first commandment with
a promise.
Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your
parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (See also 1
Samuel 3:13; Joshua 24:15; Acts 16:15, 33; 1 Tim 3:4-5)
12. How will this decision prepare us for our role in life?
ie: career, husband/father, wife/mother, etc. Might this choice
require time and energy, and do little to prepare us for our
present or future roles?
Titus 2:4-5 Then they can train the
younger women to love their husbands and children, {5} to be
self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and
to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign
the word of God.
Ephesians 5:22-28 Wives, submit to your
husbands as to the Lord. {23} For the husband is the head of
the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of
which he is the Savior. {24} Now as the church submits to
Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in
everything. {25} Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
loved the church and gave himself up for her {26} to make her
holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the
word, {27} and to present her to himself as a radiant church,
without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and
blameless. {28} In this same way, husbands ought to love
their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves
himself.
13. Will this decision help reinforce a clear distinction
between the sexes?
1 Corinthians 11:3-15 {6} If a woman
does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off;
and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or
shaved off, she should cover her head. {7} A man ought not to
cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but
the woman is the glory of man. {8} For man did not come from
woman, but woman from man; {9} neither was man created for
woman, but woman for man. {10} For this reason, and because
of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on
her head. … {14} Does not the very nature of things
teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to
him, {15} but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory?
For long hair is given to her as a covering.
1 Tim 2:9 I also want women to dress
modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair
or gold or pearls or expensive clothes
Deu 22:5 A woman must not wear men's
clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your
God detests anyone who does this.
14. Which will this more likely foster -- laziness
or productivity?
Titus 3:14 Our people must learn to
devote themselves to doing what is good, in order that they
may provide for daily necessities and not live unproductive
lives.
1 Th 5:14 And we urge you, brothers,
warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak,
be patient with everyone.
Eph 4:28 He who has been stealing must
steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with
his own hands, that he may have something to share with those
in need.
15. How will this help us grow in maturity? Which will it
foster more -- self indulgence or
self control; foolishness or wisdom;
irresponsibility or responsibility?
Mat 5:48 Be mature, therefore, as your
heavenly Father is mature.
Eph 4:14 Then we will no longer be
infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here
and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and
craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead,
speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up
into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
1 Pet 2:2 Like newborn babies, crave
pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your
salvation,
AN ILLUSTRATION OF DECISION-MAKING
To illustrate how to make decisions using these questions, I
offer the following approach to choosing appropriate hairstyles:
Does the style draw attention to us?
In 1 Timothy 2:9-10 God says we are to groom ourselves
with modesty, decency, and propriety. The Greek construction
of this text indicates that we are to not draw attention to
ourselves by our clothes or our hair. Who then, are we to
draw attention to? To God, obviously. It is He who must
receive glory from all that we do. As Paul said,
"whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
Is our hairstyle so extravagant that it takes excessive
time or money to maintain?
Also clear in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 is that God is concerned
with what motivates us to invest ourselves in vanity rather
than in good deeds. He warned us to avoid hairstyles and
clothes which require a lot of time or money to maintain. How
much of our day is spent in front of the mirror? How much
money do we spend on designer labels?
Will it cause us to lose the trust of those we want to
influence for Christ?
In 1 Corinthians 9:22-23 Paul tells us that he became all
things to all men to gain more for Christ. His example shows
us that we shouldn’t choose hair styles which might
cause others to mistrust us. Styles which might lose
others’ trust could be those that many people see as
representative of rebellious or sinful lifestyles.
Is our hairstyle more important than others -- are we
willing to sacrifice it for those who might stumble over it?
If others might be offended by our appearance, are we
willing to sacrifice our liberty to win their hearts for
Christ? Or if a fellow Christian might be stumbled by our
exercise of liberty, are we willing to give it up,
considering he or she more important than ourselves? Paul
tells us that loving others means sacrificing our liberties
for their good.
Does our hairstyle clearly distinguish our gender from the
opposite sex?
In 1 Corinthians 11:3-15 Paul’s instructions imply
that by God's natural design, men groom themselves in a way
that sets them apart from women. In a society where there is
so much confusion about roles of the sexes, it is especially
important that Christians communicate by their appearance
that God intended the roles of men and women to be different.
Does our (biblically educated) conscience tell us God is
excited about our decision?
The Christian is one who lives to please God. This means
that we must not do anything which He simply
"tolerates" or "puts up with," but we
must only pursue that which brings Him pleasure. If we do not
believe something we do brings God joy and wins us His
enthusiastic support, then we must not do it. Following Jesus
means we will want to evoke a smile on God's face, not
a grimace.
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