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INDEPENDENCE and PARENTAL AUTHORITY Pastor Reb Bradley
I. God created families as organizations
A. Goals -- __________
B. Roles -- __________ __________
C. Rules -- __________ for accomplishment of __________
II. God's goals for parents
A. Deut 6:6-9 Teach children __________ __________ __________
B. Prov 22:6; Eph 6:4 Train children for __________ __________ and bring to __________
C. Deu 5:16; Eph 6:1-2; Col 3:20 Offer strong __________
III. God's goals for children
To become __________ and __________ as a result of __________ __________
IV. God's roles for parents as leaders
A. Instructor
B. Trainer
C. Protector
V. The extent of parental authority
Parents are responsible to __________ their children's __________ -- no matter what age.
· 1 Sam 3:13-14 -- Eli lost the priesthood for his family line, because he failed to control the behavior of his grown sons.
· 1 Sam 8:3 -- Samuel (who was raised by Eli) also lost the priesthood for his family line, because his grown sons were out of control.
· 1 Kings1:5-6 -- Adonijah, David's son, rebelled and tried to take Israel's throne, because David didn't assert proper control over him.
· Deut 22:20-21 -- By God's law, Israelite fathers were held responsible to exercise control over their daughters, sufficient enough to insure their chastity. If a young woman married and was found by her new husband to not be a virgin, God decreed that she be taken to their father's doorstep and stoned to death by the men of her town. For months or years to come, the bloodstains of a man's daughter on his porch caused him to bear the shame of her infidelity and his irresponsibility.
· Luke 2:51 -- Jesus, when he was 12 years old, left the temple with his parents and we are told that "he was subject unto them." For Jesus, as a teenager, to live obedient to his parents' authority, meant that they were exercising parental authority. Setting an example of a perfect teenager, he received from them commands and direction in his life, and obeyed.
· Luke 15:11-32 -- The prodigal son abandoned his father's authority when he left home, and knew he needed to resubmit himself to it when he returned. His older brother acknowledged (vs 29) what was typical of God-fearing homes -- adult sons, living at home, were expected to live obediently to their fathers.
VI. God's roles for children – young and old
Children's primary role is that of __________ ? To __________ parents and __________ with their leadership and training. Ex 20:12; Deu 5:16; Mal 1:6; Eph 6:1-3; Col 3:20; Prov 1:84:1; 13:1; 23:22; 30:17; Mat 15:4
Deu 5:16 "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Prov 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
Prov 4:1 Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
Prov 13:1 A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke.
Prov 23:22 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Prov 30:17 "The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.
Eph 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. {2} "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- {3} "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
Col 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Mat 15:4 For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.'
VII. A key source of help for teenagers Ex 20:12; Deu 5:16; Mal 1:6; Eph 6:1-3; Col 3:20; Prov 1:84:1; 13:1; 23:22; 30:17; Mat 15:4
God uses your parents to __________ __________ __________
Your parents __________ __________ __________ God's plans for your life!
VIII. How important does God regard respect for parents? He views it as a matter of __________ __________ __________ !!!
Exo 21:17 "Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.
Lev 20:9 "'If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother, and his blood will be on his own head.
Deu 21:18-21 If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, {19} his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. {20} They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." {21} Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid
Deu 27:16 "Cursed is the man who dishonors his father or his mother." Then all the people shall say, "Amen!"
Prov 20:20 If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.
Prov 30:17 "The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.
Mat 15:4 For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.'
IX. What is disrespectful behavior?
A. Snide looks, rolling of the eyes, teasing adults; ie: "Ha, ha, so funny I forgot to laugh." B. Calling parents derogatory names, no matter how innocent sounding, or how playful the context. C. Taunting or teasing. If unacceptable towards children, it is more inappropriate towards parents. D. Giving orders, even playful ones, such as, "Say, `please'." E. Threatening statements such as, "I can't wait until I'm old enough to move out of here!" F. Rude, intentionally hurtful remarks such as, "I hate you." G. Criticizing parents, pointing out mistakes, making fun of failures, correcting them without first securing their permission H. Grumbling about any parental decision qualifies as disrespect. Objections such as, "That's a dumb idea," are insulting. Threats like, "I'm going to have a rotten time," are impolite and ungrateful. I. Ungratefulness shown for a gift given you shows contempt and disrespect for the feelings of the giver. Complaining about what has been given you for dinner or what has been ordered for you at a restaurant is both impolite and ungrateful. J. Speaking in an irreverent manner such as with sarcasm or a voice raised in anger. K. Defiant statements such as, "I'll do it when I get around to it," or responses such as: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” “Hold your shirt on.” “What ever!” “Don’t have a cow.” L. Pushing a subject over and over; continuing to lobby after receiving a “No” M. Sassy responses. Any talking back in response to an adult statement without permission is "sass" or "back-talk." The only appropriate responses are "Yes, Dad," "Yes, Mom," "May I appeal?," or possibly, "Excuse me, Dad, may I offer you new information before you decide?" · Answering back without being invited, ie: interrupting, objecting, denying, challenging, correcting, mocking, sarcasm, questioning, etc. · Giving "sass" might be grumbling or blurting out objections about parental decisions. Offering unsolicited explanations during correction or "talking back" when given instructions is disrespectful. It is not an acceptable "venting" of true feelings. · Contradicting a parent's statement in front of others.
X. How can teens gain greater independence and freedom?
Liberty is a __________ -- not a __________. Trust must be __________.
A. Demonstrate __________
1. Self control
2. Wisdom
3. Personal responsibility -- faithfulness to duties
4. Selflessness – quick to serve others
B. Be __________ to parents -- __________ respect for __________
â The biblical principle: Those who are __________ __________ little, will be __________ __________ much. Luke 19:17; Luke 16:10; Mat 25:21
Mat 25:21 "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
Luke 16:10 "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
Luke 19:17 "'Well done, my good servant!' his master replied. 'Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.'
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