BECOMING YOUR HUSBAND'S HELPMATE
LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make
him an help meet for him.
I. The importance of order in creation
· Chaos occurs in any organization lacking clearly defined roles
1 Cor 14:33 For God is not a God of disorder but of peace…
II. God created man with a ____________
A. Man was created to accomplish the ________________________for life needs
Gen 2:7 the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being … 15 And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
B. Men are intended by God to assume ____________ of their homes
Their job requires them to assume responsibility for the administration, provision and protection of their families. Eph 5:23; 1 Cor 11:8-9; Gen 18:19; Josh 24:15; 1 Tim 5:8; Exo 6:14; 6:25; Num 1:4; 7:2; 31:26; 32:28; 36:1; Josh 21:1; 22:14; 1 Ki 8:1; 1 Chr 5:15, 24; 7:2, 7, 9, 11, 40; 8:6, 10, 13, 28; 9:9, 13, 33, 34; 15:12; 23:9, 24; 24:4, 6, 31; 26:21, 26, 32; ;27:1; 2 Chr 1:2; 5:2; 19:8; 23:2; Ezra 1:5; 2:68; 3:12; 4:2, 3; 8:1, 29; 10:16; Neh 7:70, 71; 8:13; 11:13; 12:12, 22, 23
III. Man could not carry out his calling alone, so God created woman to ____________ him in his calling
Gen 2:15 And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it … 18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
1 Cor 11:8 For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; 9 for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake.
A. The woman was created _____ her husband as his helpmate (help meet):
Help meet 'ezer neged to stand in front of as a counterpart and surround with help
Help 'ezer, ay'-zer; to surround with help
Meet neged, neh'-ghed; to stand in front of as a counterpart
1. Wife's job is to ____________ her husband's ____________
2. To act as her husband's ____________ and make him _________________ at his calling
Gen 2:15, 18; Eph 5:22, 23-24, 33; Col 3:18; Tit 2:4-5; 1 Pet 3:1-6; 1 Cor 11:3-9; 14:34-35; 1 Tim 2:9-15; Prov 31:10-31
· Many a woman is miserable in marriage, because she has the wrong agenda: She does not see herself as having been created for her husband, to assist him in his needs, but subconsciously believes that he exists to meet her needs.
B. The woman who welcomes the role God has given her does not lose her ____________, but __________ it
C. A husband's headship does not imply a woman's ____________
1. In Christ, women are ____________ to men just as Greeks are to Jews, and slaves to their masters
Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
2. Being under another's authority does ________________________ in nature or capabilities
a. Jesus was ______________________to his heavenly father, but was under His authority
John 14:28 "You heard me say, 'I am going away and I am coming back to you.' If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I.
John 13:16 I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.
b. God's people are under the authority of ___________________, but are equals in nature
Heb 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.
IV. WHAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF SUBMISSION?
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 33 … the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:22-24, 33b
hupotasso, hoop-ot-as'-so; from hupo and tasso; to subordinate oneself in obedience; literally -- to come under for the sake of order.
A. To position oneself under authority for the sake of order
B. What does God offer as His model for submission?
1. The Church's ____________ to Christ
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.. Ephesians 5:22-24
2. Sarah's ____________ to Abraham
1 Pet 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
3. Christ’s ____________ to his father
Luke 22:42 "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."
V. IDENTIFYING YOUR HUSBAND’S GOALS & PRIORITIES
A. What meals does he like?
B. What household tasks does he want done?
VI. WHAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF RESPECT?
Eph 5:33 … the wife must respect [phobeo] her husband.
A. To behave with reverence and fear
phobeo, fob-eh'-o; from phobos; to be afraid of; as towards one who has power to exercise authority
B. Must respect be earned? ____________ of respect are not commanded - ____________ is.
C. What are ways that wives accidentally communicate disrespect to their husbands?
· Speak in a scolding, accusatory manner, particularly in front of the children.
· When he comes home later than you expected, scold him as if you were in charge of him and he was accountable to your authority.
· Correct him when you believe him to be wrong about something he is telling someone.
· Undo something he has already completed or take a task away from him that he is in the middle of, ie: repack the car after he has completed it, take over a session of child discipline, interrupt and finish a story he is telling to someone, etc…
· Make fun of him, especially when you think others will think what he has done or said is “dumb.” ie: telling a corny joke, making a wrong turn, etc.
· Make plans for the family and announce to him what the family will do.
· When it is late and you want to get home, announce to him it is time to leave rather than ask him if he wants to go now.
· Ask him for help with something, but speak your request in a commanding tone and express annoyance if he won’t cooperate with your request.
· When the children ask you for the family’s agenda, as if you were the leader, go ahead and give them your plan rather than direct them back to ask their father.
· When he states a conviction or announces something he wants you or the family to do, immediately resist him and begin presenting arguments as to why he has a bad idea.
With whatever respect you want your children to express toward you – behave in the same way with your husband.
VII. WHAT EFFECT MAY A WOMAN'S ATTITUDE HAVE ON HER HUSBAND?
Prov 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
A. Negative: Emasculate by ________________________
Positive: Build up by ________________________
B. Negative: Destroy his ____________
Positive: Give confidence by ________________________
C. Negative: ________________________ him
Positive: ____________ from him
VIII. WHAT WILL HINDER A WOMAN FROM BECOMING A GOOD HELPMATE TO HER HUSBAND?
A. ____________ influences
Rom 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
B. Making her respect ________________________ upon his respectability
C. ____________ and feelings of ________________________
1 Peter 3:6 … do what is right and do not give way to fear.
1. Fear of oppression or domination
2. Fear of loss of personal identity
3. Fear of the vulnerability from being out of control
· She is afraid because she trusts in her own efforts more than she trusts in God
James 1:20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires.
4. Fear her husband will not change
5. Fear the ship will sink
6. Fear she cannot endure the heartache
D. ____________ towards God <-- KEY
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.